How Ran Gavrieli stopped watching porn

…and why Monique Covet disagrees

We do not hurt anybody by having sex together. Prostitution is still the oldest profession in the world because people love sex and it make them happy. It is not like selling drugs or committing violence against women. Sex is about love, it is not about hurting anyone.

Ran Gavrieli made a video entitled Why I stopped watching porn.
He makes so many simply wrong claims in this video that I have to reply to him.

He said he stopped watching porn for two reasons:

1. Porn brought so much anger and violence into his private fantasies that were never there before.

Is he sure they were not there before ? Maybe porn just brought them to the surface. Does turning off porn get rid of these angry violent fantasie, I doubt it. A more mature reaction would be to ask why he feels like this, to deal with his emotions, to be more selective with his choice of viewing material

2. He claims that by watching porn he is taking part in a demand for filmed prostitution.

Just because some intellectual in the mid 19th century made up the word pornography by combining the two Greek words “pornē” meaning ‘prostitute’ and “graphein” meaning ‘write’ does not mean that pornography means prostitution as he claims. He bases the rest of his talk on this false premise. He makes an outrageous comment late in the film about” If you are a prostitute on camera or off camera.” How dare he brand every woman in porn films as prostitutes. They are actors and actresses. If Al Pacino portrays a gangster in some of his films does that make him a gangster ? How dare he make such a claim.

3. “Porn is about male domination of women as a genderial hierarchy in this world”

Unfortunately it is true that there is a male dominated gender hierarchy in the world. Ran Gavrieli not watching porn will not change that. He talks about the different categories of porn that are listed on the left hand side of the internet page and then picks out categories on rape, violence and similarly objectionable topics. He admits that 80%-90% of porn is of a “mild version” but he still damns the whole industry. Why could he not look at the mild 80%-90 %. of porn Instead of going for the nuclear TURN IT OFF option

4. From his viewing experience porn cameras have no interest in capturing any normal activity such as petting, caressing, touching, hugging or kissing. All they are interested in is penetration and not blocking the camera view.

His comments about no normal activity on screen is simply not true. Yes, cameras need to get clear angles and interesting viewpoints but the same can be said of every commercial film that was ever made. Randy Ran paints a picture of male porn actors going round all the time with their hands behind their backs to allow the camera-man an uninterrupted view of the sexual act. Hands up anyone who ever spotted that particular trick or tried it out at home later!

5. He talks about going home “to my beloved one” who was bored out of her wits looking at karaoke which she had to download because he refused to have a television in the house. He got in the shower for twenty minutes and thought about which karaoke song he would sing when his turn came around.

Was his life so boring that he could think of nothing better to do with his “beloved one:? Had he no normal healthy sex life to fall back on? Instead of turning off porn why did he not turn off karaoke and the rest of the junk they were watching. Maybe looking at porn together and having a good open chat about it would have been better than the shower option.

6. He claims that “90% of 12 year olds watch porn on a regular basis.

This claim is simply nonsense. Where does he get his information from?

7. “Porn teaches that as a man you are solely valued by sex, by having a large penis and an eternal erection. He goes on to admit that this never worked for him.

Instead of turning off the porn when he got tired looking at these screen sex machines, he could have gone to a sex therapist and found out how to improve his own love making skills. From personal experience I could have told him the trick of putting three fingers around the penis while inserting it into the vagina to make it feel and grow bigger. As for the eternal erection he dreamed about, I could have helped him out there too. A lot of the time its all in the mind which the right woman can unlock.

8. “Men turn into imitators and aggressors after watching porn”

This is simply not true. Again I would challenge him to produce any evidence to back up this claim

9. He says that we do not really talk enough about sex.

This is the complete opposite of what happens in any healthy sexual relationship. People never discussed sex as openly or as often as they do now.

10. Ran sites Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and modern commercials as “Porn with clothes on.”

Which planet is he on, what station is he looking at? The English Oxford dictionary defines Pornography as “Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement.” Miley Cyrus? Lady Gaga? Kellogs Corn Flakes? “Porn with clothes on!” Why does he not turn them all off if they are more temptation to the world?

11. He claims that because of porn, the definition of sexual desire for young girls is to be like a porn star.

This is one more over the top, untrue claim that he blames on porn. We know these pressures exist with many young people but they come from social media outlets, growing up, nightclubs, fashion, advertising, not from porn. Nobody promotes porn as as a role model for anyone .It is voyeurism, entertainment, a fantasy world for adults. Randy Ran makes the wild statement that “Porn is the embodiment of sex exploitation side by side with human trafficking, raping, pimping and soliciting.” In his view all this flows logically from his belief that Pornography and Prostitution are synonymous and interchangeable. The problem is that this basic assumption is wrong

12. He says that “for everyone who survives the porn industry and finishes up with a book contract, there are hundreds or thousands who never make it. As reasons he gives (1) Drugs, (2) Sexually Transmitted Diseases, (3) murder by pimps and such people and (4) Suicide. He describes porn as “a question of life or death.”

I have to ask one more time, where is he getting this information from? It sounds like he is looking at all the problems in the world and blaming them all on porn. To get real about why he stopped watching porn, it would be a lot more constructive if he addressed these serious life or death issues instead of giving talks about porn that he claims he does not even look at nowadays.

13. He reminds his audience that there is no need to pay for porn, that it is available free

If he wants to look at better porn he should consider paying on to good porn sites where he could find lots of well made material. He should be more selective in his viewing habits

14. He says that by stopping looking at porn we can all get back to “Physically and Emotionally safe sex.”

At this stage he is very near to the end of his talk so we are left wondering what exactly that P&E safe sex is. One thing I can completely agree with him on is when he says “Bring back laughter to sex” I had to wait until the end of his talk to hear that excellent piece of advice, but it was worth waiting for.

15. His final words were that we should all talk more openly about sex.

I wholeheartedly agree with that too, which is why I have taken the time to write this blog about Ran Gavrieli and his video “Why I stopped watching porn.” If you have not seen it, you should take the time to look and listen and to make up your own mind about it.

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