Everyone can go through times in their life when their enjoyment of sex is not as good as it should be. There are many reasons for this. They include stress, tiredness, the aftermath of a relationship that went wrong, lack of sex over a long period resulting in over anxiety or self doubt, sexual inhibitions due to peer pressure or bad or abusive sex in a previous relationship which can turn a completely normal man or woman into someone who loses trust in other people and avoids sex as a consequence.
You have to remember how personal sex is and how everyone is an individual with their own set of problems and their own personal solutions.
But there are lots of things that we can all do to improve our lives and our sex drive in particular. On a dark rainy day it’s better if you can go indoors, then have sex and a fight with your partner in bed instead of getting soaked out in the rain.
They say that a healthy body makes for a healthy mind, and a lot of problems with sex stem from the mind. Simple things like going to the gym regularly, walking, running, swimming, just getting out in the fresh air, can make a major difference to you both physically and mentally.
There is nothing quite as good as sunshine on your body, it’s free and it’s the best medicine in the world. If you can experience it naked that’s even better. Spend your time with happy people who make you laugh because laughter is the other great free medicine we all need. Avoid negativity in people at all costs, run a mile from them and cut them out of your life.
Getting a break from the everyday demands of work and worries will give you a chance to see that there are so many wonderful things out there to see and do. Go on a holiday to somewhere where you know the sun is shining. Forget that nonsense about parts of your body where the sun never shines, it’s not true. All you have to do is roll over and the sun will do the rest.
If you do go on a holiday there are lots of books you can bring along to better understand your sexuality. I know they are no substitute for the real thing, turning your partner over is so much more fun than turning a page, but you should find time for both. Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the most famous books about sex and sexuality but I have not read it and am regularly told it is heavy going and not the most uplifting of reads. There are lots of other choices such as The Joy of Sex or Why is Sex Fun or Sex and Society in Modern Ireland. The list is endless
One of the most important means of self healing is to open your mind to new possibilities and opportunities. Do not be afraid to walk away from old problems and do not persist in trying to fix old relationships that are going nowhere. By all means give them a reasonable chance to heal but if there is no sign of that happening you should move on. Do not waste your time chasing shadows. Get back into the real world andopen your mind to it’s endless possibilities.
As your mind becomes less stressed your body will grow stronger and your sexual urge will automatically increase. For any girls reading this, when your sex life is good and you want to make it even better, I came across this list below of what not to say during sex. Enjoy
The next question, for another day and another blog, is how do you take full advantage of your new found energy and sex drive and where are the best places to go looking for sex. Talk to you soon. Monique