Children are naturally curious about their bodies and their sexuality. I was still in the kindergarten when I had my first ever sexual discovery. I was three or four years old. There was a little guy who was always watching me and of course I was watching him back. It takes two to tango, even in kindergarten. We played, ate and slept all day, the way children do. During one of the sleeping sessions in the beds this little guy said “Show me your pussy.” I had a cat at home but I did not know that all pussies were not cats. “I don’t have a pussy, she’s at home” I replied. “The pussy between your legs” he helpfully continued. “I can’t show you, I’m not allowed.” I said, so he proceeded to show me what he had between his legs. “That’s what boys have, now show me yours,” he persisted. I was interested but I was not that type of girl yet. “If you show me that again I’m going outside, I’m not allowed.”
He was a clever little guy, even at that early age. “You can’t go out, there are dragons out there” he said with absolute certainty. “Dragons !!” I said, wondering but not completely believing. He was winning the game. “So show me what you have under your slip.” It was time for me to grow up. I showed him my pussy and he gave me another look at his penis. I was still winning because he only got one look and I saw his twice.
Another day he wanted me to go in the shower with him, then he wanted me to pee. Every time I said no he threatened me with the dragons. If they were not outside the house they were outside the door or outside the bedroom or outside the toilet. Those dragons worked for him every time. I learned about the differences between boys and girls, I learned about the chemistry and I learned how boys tell you stories about dragons. You could say those dragons were the start of my sex education.
When I was little I was in the church every day until about fourteen. Everybody wanted me to be holy, to be good, even to be a nun. That’s what they mapped out for my future. But when everybody tells you to be good, to obey the rules, what do teenagers do? They ask questions, they look for answers, they do the opposite of what their parents tell them. I launched my own quiet little revolution. I took a healthy interest, some might say an overactive interest, in sex from a very early age. The priest told me about living the good life. I tried my best to be a good girl but it wasn’t easy. The more they warned me about sex the more I thought “Sex is good, it’s the only thing in the whole world that you can do without money, you don’t need anything except people you can enjoy it with.” The priest said “You have to be good or you won’t be happy.” He talked about limits. I wondered “How does he know, he’s not married?” I decided that sex was good and it was best without limits. I was right…