Thinking back, I did not so much lose my virginity as give it away. I was on holiday in Balaton with my mother and sister. We had two rooms, one for my mother while myself and my sister shared a separate room on the second floor of our villa. My little sister Hajnalka was often an accomplice in crime as we discovered and experimented with boys together.
For a thirteen-and-a-half-year-old I was thinking serious teenager thoughts.
“I can’t believe I’m still a virgin, all my friends are having sex with their boyfriends and I’m the last one.”
My little sister hesitated. Sex was not something she had thought much about up until then.
“Mammy told us to go to bed.” she whispered.
“Mammy does not have to know everything. You don’t have to come with me, but you have to keep it our secret.”
“Don’t be too long, and don’t make any noise or you’ll be caught” she advised helpfully. “What are you going to do.”
“I’m going to go out, find the first guy I meet and have sex with him”
“Ok. I’ll go to bed but I won’t go to sleep and you have to promise to tell me what it’s like when you come back,” she replied.
She hugged me, gave me the first kiss of the night and the pact was sealed. I climbed over the balcony and dropped down to the promised land.
There was a campsite nearby which seemed like a good place to start. It was getting dark but there was a group of people sitting around together chatting and drinking beer. Not what I was looking for! I walked on, taking everything in like a cat on the prowl, searching for her prey. A young couple walked past me holding hands and kissing. I was getting closer. I heard noises coming from my right and could see the bushes moving. Lovers or just someone having a pee? The moon was shining but it was conveniently dimmed so that I could see in front of me but it still left room for privacy and discretion. Then in the distance I spotted what looked like a single male who had strayed away from the pack. I moved closer to get a better look at him. From a thirteen-year old’s point of view he looked old, not a teenager, possibly in his mid-twenties, but he looked reasonable acceptable and probably available. All cats look grey in the dark. I walked over to him, surprising him from behind.
“Hi,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster. I might have been only thirteen but I looked older and I was on a mission of discovery.
He jumped. “Good night,” he answered, “where did you come out of?”
“Do you know what the situation is” I said nervously. I was shy, unsure but very determined.
“No,” he said,
“I’m still a virgin and I don’t want to be. Can we go somewhere?”
He looked me up and down, glanced around to check if I was on my own, and took about ten agonising seconds before he answered. “Yes, we can” he said. “I’m camping; we can go into my tent over there beside the trees.”
“That’s ok” I said. By now I was excited, frightened and shaking, but there was no turning back.
The tent was small, dark and dirty but big enough for two lying on a blanket. The sex was absolutely awful. From the undressing to the touching of my breasts and feeling between my legs, it was uncomfortable, painful, scary and nothing like what I expected. In fairness as well as enjoying himself the guy was trying to be helpful. After he had done me the favour of having sex with a self-confessed virgin he found my panties in the grass and helped me get dressed. He offered to walk me home.
“No, no, I’ll find the way myself, it’s not far, you must be tired, you can sleep, I’ll be ok, thank you so much, goodnight.” I took off, out of his tent and out of his life like a scalded cat. I climbed back up the balcony, mission accomplished, and reported back to my sister.
“I don’t know why everyone gets so excited about it, I’m happy I did it but I hope it gets better than it was tonight. To be honest it was awful.”
It took me a long time to get to sleep but I woke up happy and came down for breakfast with a smile on my face. From a very shaky start overnight in a tent in Baleton the teenager Monika Erzsebet Visi had turned into the woman that would grow up to be the pornstar Monique Covet.
I went to the lake with my mother and sister. The guy from the tent was there, looking very happy with himself. He waved and did a lot of smiling in my direction. I told my mother that I had no idea who he was, that I never saw him before and that he must be mistaking me for someone else.
At the end of the holiday I went back to school to continued my sex education with as many volunteers as I could find. It got better but it wasn’t great as long as none of us really knew what we were doing. I still had a lot to learn. I remember asking one of the teachers why it was so good to have sex but she never told me so I was left with serious doubts about the whole subject.