How Long Should Sex Last For? (part2 )

Lets look at better ways to increase the time spent with your partner having not just sex for yourself but enjoying good sex together:

1. The first thing I always say to a man is that he should keep his body healthy. He does not have to be a super athlete but he should have a good diet, at least normal exercise and good hygiene. This automatically results in balanced hormones and a good sex life. The quality of sex depends on the body generating testosterone which in turn makes the man horney and needing sex.

2. Masturbation is not just a means of getting a quick pleasure boost. There are masturbation exercises you can do to improve your sex technique with your partner and ultimately improve your sex life together. By masturbating you can discover your body, find your own erogenous zones, learn what works for you and in turn what will work during sex with your partner. You can learn how to control your penis and ejaculation. So stop thinking of masturbation as something wrong or something to be ashamed of. Look on it instead as a normal way of discovering your sexual potential. Masturbation exercises need at least fifteen minutes at a time to learn from them. Two frequently used masturbation exercises are the “start-stop technique” and the “squeeze technique”. Click on the link below for more information from my previous blog.

3. There are also tried and tested techniques to tone up your pelvic muscles. This is the most important area of your body used during penetration with your partner. It is worth repeating here the technique called Kegel exercises. For this you first have to identify and locate your pelvic floor or PC muscle. To find where it is stop your urine stream once to identify the pelvic floor muscle. The clenching of the pelvic floor muscle can improve ejaculation control. Contract and hold the pelvic floor muscle for a count of three. Release and repeat. Continue doing small sets of this exercise, also called Kegels, daily. Increase the number of repetitions as well as the length of the contraction as the exercise becomes easier for you. If you do this 10 times a day, you could see positive results in two to four weeks. I will show you the technique in a future video blog.

4. There are sex toys for men that will help them to get used to penetration and ejaculation even when they do not have or cannot find a sex partner. As a temporary alternative to real sex they can visit their local sex shop and discover life sized sex dolls, plastic vaginas or plastic lips. Good quality products of these toys can imitate real life situations and go a long way to overcome sexual problems that a man can experience. Some men could be embarrassed availing of these type of sex toys but remember you are not the only one using or needing them – the only reason they are on offer in sex shops is because there is a market for them. Don’t think of them as an alternative to sex, think of them as an aid to a healthy sex life.

5. Try not to bring your day to day work or stress to bed with you when you meet your partner there. That is one threesome that will definitely not improve your sex life.

6. During sex remember to think about your partner and not just about yourself. Let her reach orgasm first. Try to make her come as well as concentrating on your own pleasure zones. When you see the happiness on her face there is no doubt in my mind that at that moment it will make you feel better as a man and a lover too. Remember a woman often needs about twenty minutes for foreplay and sex to arrive at her orgasm so give her the time to enjoy it and you will get your own excitement in return.

7. There is an interesting modern theory that a type of brain cells called Mirror Neurons may encourage or direct sexual behaviour and stimulate certain sexual activities. Put simply the theory about Mirror Neurons suggests that if we see somebody doing something it will encourage us to copy them or act like a human mirror. If someone takes off their clothes in front of you, it may encourage you to do the same. If they make an obvious sexual gesture it may lead you to do something similar. You can be the leader or the follower in this process with Mirror Neurons. You can encourage or discourage sexual activity by what you do or how you react. So your time to ejaculation can be the same as your partner’s time to orgasm. It is an interesting idea which you could experiment with the next time you are having sex.

8. Another interesting modern theory is that another body neuron called Serotonin can affect mood, feelings and even sexual drive in people. When Serotonin is low, researchers say, it also tends to increase sex drive; whereas higher serotonin levels are also associated with an increase in oxytocin, the so-called “love” hormone. This seems to reflect women’s preference for more bonding, cuddling and lovemaking versus men’s noted preference for straight physical sex. Ample amounts of serotonin make for more “loving” feelings .and could improve the quality of your sex life. The amount of Serotonin in the body is closely associated with blood sugar levels. For more information ask your doctor or therapist about this, it is an interesting topic for any self respecting health conscious sex addict.

9. A last thing to remember about control is to be conscious of your breathing during sex. Naturally as excitement grows the heart pumps faster and breathing speeds up automatically. If you are aware of this it gives you the chance to hit the pause button, to slow down before you explode, to back off and come again before it’s too late and you have shot your load. When you are aware of this you have a better chance of controlling it.

10. So remember, it’s not just size that’s important, time and pleasure is what everyone needs.

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